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Daily AstroSlam Astrology

Aries astrology
Aries(21/Mar - 20/Apr )

For some people getting up on the wrong side of the bed is an occasional occurrence; for you, though, there is no right side of the bed. Perhaps one of these days you'll surprise people with a good mood.

Taurus astrology
Taurus(21/Apr - 20/May )

A brisk walk in the park really isn't your thing but carrying around that spare tire has a heavy pull against your vanity. Shallow beast that you are, beauty is your only motivation.

Gemini astrology
Gemini(21/May - 20/Jun )

The people you live with have officially rounded the corner from pleasant company to bona-fide pains in the butts. Spend the day sharpening your wit and be ready for battle when you get home tonight.

Cancer astrology
Cancer(21/Jun - 20/Jul )

It'll become clear you are not well liked. Okay, you already knew that, but today you'll figure out just how deep the vitriol runs. If you could only learn to harness the energy of all that hatred you'd be set!

Leo astrology
Leo(21/Jul - 20/Aug )

A gross miscommunication will prove to be a lot more funny than you ever imagined -- unfortunately, not everyone shares in the joke. Actually, you're the only one who thinks it's at all funny. What's new?

Virgo astrology
Virgo(21/Aug - 20/Sep )

Once again your morbid curiosity will get the better of you when you spend hours thumbing through your dog-eared copy of your circus freaks book. It will renew your sense of gratitude.

Libra astrology
Libra(21/Sep - 20/Oct )

Your decision to spend the day communicating only in animal noises is seen as amusing by a sick few and a desperate cry for attention by everyone else. You'll find yourself thinking 'Can't it be both?'

Scorpio astrology
Scorpio(21/Oct - 20/Nov )

You've spent so much time looking ahead to what you want to be and strategizing about how you're going to get there, that you've lived a great many years of your life unnoticed and unfulfilled.

Sagittarius astrology
Sagittarius(21/Nov - 20/Dec )

That smug, holier-than-thou attitude really isn't serving you well these days. Do you think it might be time to come back down to earth and deal with the reality that you really aren't all that.

Capricorn astrology
Capricorn(21/Dec - 20/Jan )

Clarity may come slowly -- slowly enough that you will already have made a huge mess of things by acting on mushy information. By the time you figure it out, your antics will be legendary.

Aquarius astrology
Aquarius(21/Jan - 20/Feb )

Don't let anyone tell you that spending the day listening to sad love songs is a waste of time! No matter how much fun it is to be happy, with the right soundtrack it can be twice as much fun being miserable.

Pisces astrology
Pisces(21/Feb - 20/Mar )

You're obsessed with the dollar today -- probably because you have so few of them at your disposal. You can either rob a bank and risk spending the next 20 years bunking in a cell with a guy named 'Shorty' or you can get a job.


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